I found out I was making 53% less than my colleague heres what I did

I found out I was making 53% less than my colleague heres what I didI found out I was making 53% less than my colleague - heres what I didIt was an unusually warm day in March, and I was holding my second child in my arms while talking to my parents on the phone. My mom had learned about a website that lists salaries for people earning over $100,000.She was trying to figure out how much money my boss earned an interesting question that I really didnt know the answer to. She couldnt find my boss in the system, so asked me to name other people who I thought should be on that list. I named a few, some of which she was able to find.Then, I named my counterpart a colleague at work who had virtually the same job as me.Follow Ladders on FlipboardFollow Ladders magazines on Flipboard covering Happiness, Productivity, Job Satisfaction, Neuroscience, and moreI was astounded to learn that my colleague was paid 47 percent more money than I was. Forty-seven percent more. Thats a lot more moneyT hat moment will forever be a turning point in my life. My typically positive, go-getter attitude could elend overcome this huge discrepancy. It left me feeling angry. It left me feeling devalued. Really devalued.Over the next few months, I did what I do best I researched. I read everything I could find about women and money andpay gaps. That research evolved into larger questions about women andleadership, which turned into an exploration of the concept of success. Figuring out how to define success lead me to ask myself huge questions about compensation,benefitsandwork-life balance.I am the mother of two incredible young boys. When this happened they were 4-and-a-half, and not yet a year old. I love motherhood, and I try hard to cherish the moments with my kids. But I also know that I do not want to be a stay-at-home mom. I love my career. I worked really hard for it. I went to school for a very long time and eventually got a PhD.I worked as a consultant helpinghealthcareorganizati ons implement evidence and improve the care they provide with the goal of improving peoples lives.Money had never been my primary driver. If it was, I probably wouldnt have a PhD, and I definitely wouldnt have a career in the helping field. Although money was not my primarymotivation, I wanted to be paid what I was worth. Thats why this information was so overwhelming. It tapped into a core question about my value in the world, which ultimately led me to interesting and essential questions about what I value.In the process, someone shared this life-changing statementDont define success by the job you have or how much money you earn, define success by describing every detail of what your life looks like on a random Tuesday morning when you feel joy, happiness and success.This was mind-blowing for me.It helped me to see the things I love and care about most, and the things I value. I thrive on intellectually stimulating thoughts and conversations, and I want the pursuit of them to dri ve my days. I enjoy working alone, so while I like having meetings, I want the majority of my time to be me by myself. While I learned so much from managing a team of 20 staff members, being a manager was not my greatest strength in the world, and is not the most valuable use of my time. It is not what drives me to want to wake up in the morning and be excited for the day.With this new knowledge, I took a huge leap and did the most courageous thing I have ever done I quit my job and I started my ownconsultingcompany.The process to get there involved a lot of soul-searching, a lot of discussions, and more tears than I would like to admit. In the end, I didnt make the decision because of money. I made the decision to because of work-life balance. Do I hope to get paid closer to what I am worth in the marketplace? Yes. But I am learning so much more about how I want to create a work-life balance that allows me and my family to thrive.So many of us are trapped in this world of getting p aid less than we are worth because we want a little flexibility to pick up our kids, or stay home when theyre sick. We also feel pressure to be intensive parents, signing our kids up for all of the best educational activities, spending quality one-on-one time with them all of the time. Its just too much Its a system that sets us up to fail.We talk about this huge problem of the mental load we carry around, but it feels as though the only people who understand what that means are other working mothers. It is isolating, and frustrating, but it doesnt need to be like that.Once we know what we value in the world and what our value is to the world, we can work to reconcile the two and create the work-life balance that allows us to thrive and make what we deserve. We, as working mothers, deserve that.Dont miss out on articles like these. Sign upJulia Egan has a PhD from Penn State in human development and is the founder ofBalancing Bravely, a resource for working moms striving to create a work-life balance that allows them to thrive. Sign up forfree tips and resourcesand to read her latest posts on advancing your career, achieving financial freedom, balancing work and family, and finding a little time for yourself. Are you struggling the balance it all? bestattungs herWork-Life Balance guideto get you on the path to success.A version of this post previously appeared on Fairygodboss, the largest career community that helps women get the inside scoop on pay, corporate culture, benefits, and work flexibility. Founded in 2015, Fairygodboss offers company ratings, job listings, discussion boards, and career advice.You might also enjoyNew neuroscience reveals 4 rituals that will make you happyStrangers know your social class in the first seven words you say, study finds10 lessons from Benjamin Franklins daily schedule that will double your productivityThe worst mistakes you can make in an interview, according to 12 CEOs10 habits of mentally strong people